We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
