i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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