May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
