so let's talk penis.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
