he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
