she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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