I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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