Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
