someone threw a dead crab at me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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