u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
