Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
