when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
