We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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