meet me or not, i'm out of control
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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