I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
