youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
