Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Text me some of your sweat
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
