tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Bring me that man meat
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