I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
