Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
