I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
