Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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