16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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