She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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