You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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