I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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