You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
please come you make the beer taste better
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
