How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
