stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
