I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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