I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
