Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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