She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
