roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
