Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
