It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
