Do vagina's smell?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He passed out mid-signature
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
