You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have already put on my inside pants.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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