i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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