My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
