i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
