I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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