What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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