He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
