you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
