Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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