Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sober January is a disaster.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
