suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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