I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
