this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
