you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
